My buddy G

Warning: Readers are hereby informed that following article is full of crap and I do not take any responsibility for any intellectual damage. And F readers (I hope there are and if not M readers please send it to your girl friends), if any of you like my thoughts feel free to contact me. My inspiration for writing this article is my senior Mr D and article is dedicated to my friend G.

My buddy G

ME- Fifteen years spent in the school, didn’t even know her name and never even noticed or felt her existence

Pervert part of my soul,

P – Not her fault because recently, I was informed by a girl from my school days that the fairer sex thought I didn’t like to talk to them. Well guess what, it’s not true and whoever reads this, I under social obligation of no fellow being dying virgin, plead you to inform them I would love to talk to them 24 x 7.

ME- Finally, we met through lamest and most pathetic way in the world (yes through Orkut!!).

ME- Now our story is certainly not ending with two bodies (or souls for dirty minds) completing each other.

P- It’s not a phrase. According to Greek philosophy, there were quad legged, quad armed di headed creatures (like two humans stuck back to back).But Zeus, Greek God, feared that these creatures will become more powerful than Gods. So he separated them with thunders and thus when two creatures mate, they are actually completing themselves with the part they had lost centuries ago. Alas, Greek Philosophers didn’t see people screwing dozens around them at that time!!

ME- And my relation with G is also not a sad ending like Romeo and Juliet and tears running down viewer’s cheeks.

P- Including me .Yes ladies note it I also get carried away sometimes. THAT means I can get emotionally involved with you and satisfy your so called “emotional needs”.

ME-My story with G is more like a mast less ship stuck in midst of a storm, uncertain of being completely destroyed or being thrown onto some treasure island. Yeah I know it’s not interesting; then why am I writing it? I want to write because I want to know how much I have understood her

P-Hey Hey F readers do take a note I try to understand about which you girls complain most “He is just not trying to understand me “

Lets talk something about G

ME- After a year of chatting on yahoo and a date (may be meeting!!), what I came to know about G is that a Gujju girl (you must have understood by now how she is but nevertheless) who considers herself a one man woman but has great artistic skills.

P- But first dear F readers, it’s not my fault for such long chatting before date or whatever, I assure you I am ready for blind date also.

(ME- Three weeks before I had left writing this article and here I am continuing it as I am unable to study because two days back I met serious–hmm yep I mean it literally–crush number 3 of my life. So since morning I am just thinking about my fairy and my fairy-tale.

P- NOTICE : F readers please don’t get disappointed because fairy-tales are hypothetical and especially in my case never becomes real. So I am still available.)

ME- Getting back to G, she is like an ice cream cone. First bite of hers, I definitely assure any M will love but after that will come the harder part of the cone which will take away the joy of the softer ice cream (well we had our share of fights) but if you dig deep deep inside her you will know how chocolaty she is !!

P- All M readers are hereby informed that all the fore mentioned lines are in emotional sense and not what you voracious minds think.

ME- Now what I love about her? (not in literary sense Ohh India everything needs to be cleared) Well first of all like I said her soft ice cream like nature in the beginning

P- F readers if anyone interested after reading this much, an important point to note is that I am usually very bad in the genesis stage of relation so please bear me for sometime.

ME- But she was very cool with me and infact every time I screwed up we came more closer.And other thing I like about her is her artistic instincts and her ability to convert those into reality

P- All artistic F- readers I worship your kind, as I consider artist equivalent to God as after him only, you are the only ones able to convert dreams into reality.

ME-On the whole she is nice girl and all M-readers (who are satisfied by decent looking girl) “Check her out.”(But be prepared to do atleast 90 days of base work).I hope G will get her Dream boy!!(typically gujjuish)

ME- I don’t know where am I directing this article but what the heck its life, we never know its ending.

P- I can get some girl due to this article or I can lose a girl.

ME- But whatever happens I will never forget G because I have had some great moments with her!!!

Marke pahucha khuda k pass

Marke pahucha khuda k pass

na jaane kyon uska mood thhanka

aur dimag sanka

lene laga hisaab meri buriyon ka.

dhoondhta gaya dhoondhta gaya

Bola..

Sirf ek he bura kaam kiya tune.

Mujhse jyada kisi aur ko yaad kiya tune..

Iski tujhe saza milegi..

Aur agle janam mein tu dinosaur aur wo chipkali banegi…

Aur chah kar bhi tu use na chu payega..

Aur jo chuaa toh dharti par akela reh jayega..

Main muskuraya…

Aur usko smjhaya..

Kone mein le gaya

aur bataya..

Ki hey khuda tu apni banayee

reet khud bhool gaya..

Aur ek sachhe pyar ko pehchaan ne mein chook gaya..

Wo mere dil mein rehta hai..

Har pal uski yaad mujhe jeene ki nayee rah hai deti..

Gar main aisa he hota..

Toh aaj tere saath main baat na kar raha hota

kahin tanha baith k rota..

Kyonki tune mujhe yahan akela bulaya..

Abki khuda muskuraya

hasa bola..

Bete main tera baap hun..

Aur ye jo bol raha hai na ye maine he tujhe sikhaya hai

bachhe ye aaj tujhe samajh mein aaya hai

ki sachha pyaar kya hota hai

kya hota hai dil mein dard le k bhi muskurana

aur dariye mein reh kar aag lagana

uski ye baaten sun mera digmaag ghoom gaya

do pal k liye bheja sir se nikal dharti ko choom gaya

mere dimaag mein ek khayaal aaya

thodi masti thoda nasha chaaya

aur pooch dala jo dil mein aaya

ae khuda ye sab hai tera banaya..

kya tune kabhi kise se dil lagaya…

Uth khada hua wo ghura mujhe wo chhati ko taan

ye dekh meri to nikal gayi jaan

isse pehle main vinamrata se baat ko ghumata

wo phir dheere se muskuraya

tub mujhe kuch sukoon aaya

aur khat se mu khola aur bola

are yaar tu toh saari duniya k baare mein jaanta hai

har kissa,har kahani har bande ko pehchaanta hai

aaj kuch apna haal bata..

Ki ab tak aayi sabki baari

abki baari khuda tumhari

ki kya teri zindagi mein koi pyaar ka mausam aaya hai

ya yahan baithe tune sirf khayali pulao banaya hai..

Wo bhadak gaya..

Pehli baar uski dhukti rag pe shayad kisi ne rakha tha haath

maine kaha aadat daal le tujhe rehna hai mere saath..

Usne kaha ki he nadaan

yehi hai farak

main hun bhagwaan aur tu insaan

isse pehle wo kuch aur kehta maine dekha mauka aur maara

chauka

bola

kya faida tere khuda hone ka..

Sabse balwaan hone ka

jab tune kabhi kisi se dil he na lagaya

to tune khuda ho k bhi kya paya..

Are tujhse achha wo insaan hai

jo tere banaye zahaan mein

us khoobsurati ka ehsaas karta hai..

Jise tune hai banaya

par kabhi use khud na aazmaya

lekin tu pyaar kar kaise sakta hai..

Dekh sansaar ki sab ladkiyon ko to tune he banaya hai

aur aakash mein sab deviyon ko pehle he kisi na kisi ne

pataya hai

tu toh reh gaya akela

chahta tu bhi hoga aam

par na mila tujhe kela..

Wo jor se hasa..

Aur itne mein mera payr kahin fasa

wo hasta gaya mera payr dhasta gaya

aa gaya wapas apne jahaan mein

wapas apne ghar jo hai hindustaan mein..

Thoda sa jaldi mujhe tha meri ma ne jagaya

warna sahi tha maine use fasaya..

Mujhe uspe taras tha aaya

kya kare wo jisne buna ho har taana

aur usi ko na mile ek bhi daana..

Toh ye tha meri neend ka fasana

jisse chahta to tha gungunana

par sahi samaye pe sahi dhun na ban payee

isiliye aapko kavita k roop maine ye kahani hai

sunayee..

Internet musing

The other day, I was using my time (which we have in plenty) to open the google home page which took its own sweet time. And by sweet, I mean real sweet. Real real sweet. This is a tribute to our Internet speed… I can speak on behalf of H-9 residents at least. We can proudly say that or hostels have wifi or LAN but sometimes its just a redundant piece of technology. I love this… Mocking the college… Its also our all time favourite timepass, also famously known as ‘bakar’.

Yes, back to my musing. I actually think its good that we have such ludicrous speeds. We have so much fun over it. It actually increases social harmony… Reinforcing the point, I was browsing on our superfast net and going through some archaic data showing a graphical representation between the broadband speed and various countries. Japan topped that chart with a speed of about 7.5 Mb/s even in some distant age! USA was somewhere in between and India… Have a guess… Yes, you’re right… It wasn’t anywhere in the reckoning in the chart (I want to use a smiley). India can be called a giant minnow. I gave my room mate a smile at that moment… See! Harmony and good will!

Now, what would happen if someday the government of Japan decides to reduce their speeds to Indian levels? (Hypothetical case. Everything is possible). I conjecture a mass riot in that case. People will come to a halt and announce a strike or something. They’ll be on the streets. This conjecture comes from the fact (though not completely related to internet speed) that just due to some technical glitch recently, gmail faced some problems and couldn’t provide satisfactory services for a day. New forums came up condemning the situation and services and asking for compensation. On the other hand, in India or lets talk about SVNIT (:-) now I use a smiley)… we curse a bit but we also smile! People talk to each other and tell stories of their grandparents while they’re waiting for their favourite google page to open. Again… Harmony and goodwill…

P.S. A bit of mockery never hurt anyone but I hope this does.